How To Forgive

Everyone of us has experienced being hurt usually by someone we love or used to love. Then, the love turned to hatred or apathy as days and years went by. What a waste! How can we rekindle that love? Or is it gone forever?

Forgiveness is a decision to let go of grudges, resentments, bitterness and thoughts of revenge. It is an act of untying yourself from the negative effects of unforgiveness in your heart because the other person is not hurt by the grudge; only the grudgeholder is hurt. A lack of forgiveness hurts the person who is not forgiving. It is not condoning the offense but freeing your heart from hatred, anger, and resentment that has turned it cold and hard, almost unfazed by just about anything in this world. An unforgiving heart is contaminated and therefore not capable of giving pure and acceptable love to anyone including children, parents and friends. If growing within your heart is the cancer of hatred, anger, and resentment, then that is the only love that you can give.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

Matthew 5:22 Everyone who grows angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment.

Remember the Lord's prayer: "Give us today our daily bread and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us." (Matthew 6:11-12)

How can God forgive our sins if we cannot forgive those who sinned against us? We need to learn how to forgive before we can start asking God for forgiveness because He cannot hear us if we hold grudges in our hearts.

Matthew 6:14-15 If you forgive the faults of others, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours. If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you.

Romans 3:23 All men have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God.

But if you still insist on "being right" with respect to your own anger or it is very difficult for you to forgive, pray to God to help you learn how to forgive...take baby steps towards forgiving the person that has hurt you. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and follow His words in the Bible. John 1:12 Any who did accept Him, He empowered to become children of God. If you are a child of God, then the Holy Spirit is within you and you now have the power to forgive...you will be able to forgive no matter how big the offense is. Build bridges instead of walls so that you can receive blessings from God. Deal with others as you would like God to deal with you.

In life, you can give only what you have. Luke 6:36 Be compassionate, as your Father is compassionate 37 Pardon, and you shall be pardoned. 38 Give, and it shall be given to you. Good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over, will they pour into the fold of your garment. For the measure you measure with will be measured back to you.

Be compassionate and give love even to the unlovable...the ones who hurt you in the past. The Lord sees the desires of your heart and will honor it. If you are generous and forgiving, the Lord will be generous and forgiving to you, too.

Read Matthew 18:21-35. Peter is seeking a rule or a way to put a limit on forgiveness. He figures seven times was a lot - possibly more than Jesus would require. Jesus responded "not seven times; I say, seventy times seven times." Mathematically, that would mean 490 times...but the number 7 is a perfect number and Jesus meant that the call to forgiveness is not limited. It is actually the cancelling of all debts. The last verse says, "My heavenly Father will treat you in exactly the same way unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart."

"When anger lingers in our heart, it poisons all we think and do. When faith seeks ways to show God's love, it keeps our spirit strong and true." - D. De Haan

Resentment comes from looking at others; contentment comes from looking at God. Look at the person who has hurt you with the eyes of God and you will be able to forgive. Do to others as you would like God to do unto you. Be merciful and forgive, and God will forgive you, too.